People often create their own beliefs about you based on what they want to be true. If they want to hate you, they’ll find a reason. They’ll twist your words, rewrite the story, add a plot twist because they don’t like the cliff-hanger.
I can’t think of a single person who has known every version of me that has ever existed. And for most people, that’s true. It’s the lucky ones who have someone who knows them from birth to now, or someone who chooses to stick around for every version update, downloading each new feature, bug fix, or patch as it comes.
To be seen like that is a beautiful thing.
But it’s human to look back and think, what if? What if things had gone differently, if I said this or did that? We wonder about the choices we made, the moments we missed, and the chances that never came.
I find myself highly perceptive. I can tell from the first meeting whether I will be compatible with someone. Most of the time, I am not. Some people feel like they need to know everything about me, but for someone to really know me, it will take days. It will take a conversation in the middle of the night to see how deeply I think. It will take bringing up something I am knowledgeable about to see how nerdy I am. It will take saying nonsensical things to see how silly I am. I could go on and on.
When I think about that, I also think about how good people who do bad things can look in another person's eyes. The man who made inappropriate remarks can still seem like a good brother. The "simply blunt" bully can seem kind, even likable, until you see them in the full light of their actions.
Such is the multifaceted being of humanity. We all carry versions of ourselves that others may never see or understand, and that’s okay.
I’ve learned not to feel the need to justify or explain every version of myself to everyone. Being seen by the right people is far more meaningful than being misunderstood by many. It’s not an insult to be alone. The real loss is being around people who make you feel alone.
I’ve also learned that being yourself will never be enough for some people, and that is not your problem to solve. You can be kind, creative, confident, or full of life, and someone will still misinterpret or pick you apart. That does not reflect your worth; it reflects their discomfort, their own insecurities, or their unfulfilled lives.
Not everyone deserves your energy or attention. The people who matter are the ones who see you clearly, celebrate your quirks, and choose to uplift you. They do not just tolerate your differences, they value them. If you have not found your circle yet, it does not mean you are unloveable. It just means your people are still on their way. Focus on your passions, growth, and creativity. When you do that, the right people naturally gravitate toward you.
Real connection comes from genuineness, not forced belonging. People who are secure in themselves do not feel threatened by your light. They are too busy shining their own. So stay true to yourself, loud or quiet, bold or soft. However you show up, make sure it is authentic. That is where your strength lies.